Happy Friday, loves. I woke up to an article about the government uncoiling slightly (maybe) on the medicinal virtues of psychedelic drugs.
“The FDA’s dueling portrayals of psilocybin as a scary fungal neurotoxin and a promising treatment for depression are part of a broader story about forbidden drugs, including MDMA, marijuana, and LSD, whose benefits scientists are once again studying with government approval after decades of neglect.”
It’s cold here in the suburbs today, but I have my kitchen window open a few inches anyhow. It’s become my morning ritual, part of the elusive and over-spoken-of “new normal” I keep trying to find. Right now, it’s this: two cups of coffee at my kitchen table after the girls have gone to school, and I roll the baby joint I’ll puff on for the day and start it. The youngest sleeps through this usually, and I use this time to organize my day.
I have an anxious mind. Some pieces of paper say I have a panic disorder; some say bipolar II. I say, I’m a part of the Sad Tribe. I say, sometimes if I get too cold, my brain will think we’re dying and send the fight-or-flight cocktail through me. Words float inside of me in water, and sometimes the current moves so quickly that there’s only noise. Whatever it is, I have a piece of paper, too, that says chronic PTSD on it, and the right strain of cannabis allows me to slow the stream.
And I am so grateful that I can do this without legal or psychological risk (All that talk about self-medicating? It’s true. We do that. And I’ve been self-medicating with cannabis since I was 13.). Sativas stoke my anxiety–Green Crack made me sob. High THC indica strains, preferably with a significant smidge of CBD, are my medicine. Gelato, Berry White, my childhood favorite Northern Lights–these are my current loves.
So here’s to a little more possibility in the world today–maybe psychedelics are next. Maybe as medical cannabis becomes more and more talked about and legitimized, the path will get cleared for other natural medicines to come back. The anecdotal evidence on microdosing (thanks to pioneers like James Fadiman) is encouraging.
(I thought about telling you all the story about the time I tried microdosing for mental health but just tripped on accident and then on purpose until it was all gone. But that’s kind of it. I’ll tell it another time. Hockey made me laugh hard.)